Monday, December 10, 2012

O Magnum Mysterium

Commitment issues, he said and laughed. Did you ever consider that you might have those? We sat on the deep couch, in the dark night, the snow fell in great flakes outside and the calm of the evening mismatched every inch of my wretched innards. He waxed poetic about living in the moment and told my sister not to get so caught up in practical road blocks. I stared into the candle light and discovered bruises all along my arm.

Years ago, how young I was, when I tried to tell him of the silly ease of life. How world-weary his gaze at me then, and now the roles are all reversed. He put on his best understanding face, I couldn't help but lean against his steady shoulder and smile.

It occurs to me yet again that I do not deserve these people at my side, who follow me through the years and who carry me when I falter. I do not understand their loyalty, their kind eyes at my tragic corpse, but no matter.

I will hold to them until the end of days, if they will let me.

No comments:

Post a Comment