Take You Away

I get too easily wrapped up. In stories, fantasies, climate. I spend hours in a whole other world and when I am forced back to the actual one, I get disoriented, dizzy. It seems it would be easy to pull myself together and work on this reality, but I never seem able.

Instead I get overwhelmed at the prospect. Of Life, of what it is and where I fit in it. I retreat, fear the social circles and lovely adventures around me. They make me happy, for the moment, but they do not help me sort anything out; they merely confuse me. I drown in the impressions that swim sickeningly around me, hold my head under the surface, tease me until I collapse, exhausted, on my bed and take another break. Read another book. Escape into yet another world for a few hours, pretend all this around me can be staved off by merely ignoring it.

It works, for a while you know. It's only, when it comes back around, its force is so much worse. I hold my breath, brace myself.