I sat by the river, dark rainy Wednesday night and still I had run faster than in ages, with a smile on my face no less, don't ask me to explain it because I can't. I spoke to the water, to the stormy sky; I laid out my shortcomings and my convictions and made no excuses. Perhaps I am naive, I whispered, but I believe enough in magic to believe also in this. The waves grew wild for an instant, but the heart in my chest was calm. Peace is a gift I give myself: that is all.
They painted our apartment, at last, a decade of whimsy colors erased by a pure whiteness: cold, quiet. My room is a shambles, the bed oddly placed in the middle and no space around. It feels not so much a clean slate as a space without a soul. Like I already packed up and left. Do you ever fear you are only running away, that you are not so much gallivanting around on adventures as you are fleeing the demons that lurk in your inertia? No, certainly it is only me.
Lightning danced across the boroughs. The water turned black, chattering. Life is complicated and simple all at once, that is the secret. Believe in the magic, and you'll work the rest out in time.
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