Been Trying to Sing

I wake early, fall is here now, the mornings are dark. Something from my youth itches at the small of my back, an uncomfortable wet, cold woolen sweater sort of memory, how autumn is knit socks and too many layers of clothes to peel at the school entrance, a day full of indoor work and harsh flourescent lighting our only weapon against the dark forests outside the window. There is no way to explain to someone raised in sunshine what it means to grow in its absence. To create an entire life out of absence.

I created an entire life out of your absence, too.


It doesn't mean I don't still fear the dark.