Grieve

She schedules an appointment with the vet and begins to count down minutes. I just have to get myself there, I don’t know how I’ll do it, she says, and your heart aches for her. He sits on your couch  with blank eyes and you know you would do anything to make them smile again. Your aunt lies dying  in a hospital and your father doesn’t remember to mention it, somehow his heart ached too much one day and he had to put it away. You vow to continue feeling everything, because you know the wave cannot drown you.

The other day, I ran past that part underneath the bridge where the water laps against a miniature beach and the seagulls rest (to gossip, no doubt), and I heard the ocean call me. It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter but it is over now. It’s been a blessed respite but now you are rested. It is time to set my heart on fire.

It is time to dive in deep.