Where We Go

Nothing is brighter that sunshine on snow in Utah. I squint my eyes happily, my body stocking up on Vitamin D like the end was nigh, I forget there was ever darkness. Selective memory may well be the secret to any form of survival. We sat around the bar table with our lives falling apart and laughed. She was just back from Gambia and taking time off, my old roommate and her boyfriend had moved in with her parents while figuring out the next step, I was cleaning out the remains of long suffering bank accounts.

But was this not always where we were going? Did she and I not leap into New York together because what were we going to do in this state all our lives, when staring into the sun lost its appeal? We sat on the Spanish steps in Rome, years ago now, and said that exact thing. It is no surprise we are here today. We will go where we go, he said, where we find jobs or adventures, who knows? and I loved him for living it.

I sat in the hot tub yesterday, watching the snow melt, and I knew it would be okay. I will find the money, I will find a place to sleep. I will remember that life, above all things, is an adventure. Sometimes you don't realize the madness until you've lived it. All things will not be planned and you must scratch the itch, any way you can. It's fine. We're fine.

And home is a place you leave.