F-word(s)

Days settle, normalcy returns. Snowy mountains lie bright white and heartachingly beautiful in the periphery, but the computer screen buzzes with deadlines long ignored. Bank accounts need tending to, lists need writing. It occurs to me there is a life over there to which I soon return. Perhaps I will bank on it. I don't know if I give myself a break, or if I simply give up.

She said my name yesterday, she could do it. She said she missed her favorite word though; she wanted so much to ask her fervently religious speech therapist to help her but couldn't muster up the courage. How do you ask a mormon to teach you to say fuck? But we practiced, and suddenly, it just came out. Fuck. I laughed. "Did I say it?!" I had to ask her to say it again. Fuck! We were all laughing now. Such a small word, such great liberty, and every reason to smile is a good one.

I don't know if I give myself a break, or if I simply give up. But fuck. Life is precious, hardship is relative.

Fuck. We are alive. We are well. That is fine.