There is a withering hydrangea on my windowsill. My roommate put it there for some reason; she can't get herself to throw it out because it keeps coming back to life, despite her best efforts to neglect it to death. I am not sure if she is insinuating that leaving it in my window will nurse it back to more proper health, or if this is a fail-safe way to kill it off for good.
I suppose the same can be said for myself. I am not sure whether being left to my own devices is the one way I can finally and truly step out of that cloak of assimilation, the shell of expectation that holds me back from ingenuity, or if it will, in fact, turn out to be the quickest way to leave me a puddle of my own misery, a washed up oil spill of failure and readiness for the compost heap.
It's okay, I whisper softly to the plant, standing sadly next to the screen, a meek comparison to the lush green backdrop behind it. Whatever happens, we are in it together.
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When I first started dating Jacob his roommate had a plant named Lucille...he'd actually purchased it from Wal-Mart so he'd have an excuse to talk to a girl he liked b/c she worked there. Anyway, he neglected Lucille so I kidnapped her (literally, I had one of my roommates distract him and snuck her out behind my back...) and nursed her back to health...then one of my other roommates repotted her in a crappy pot and she died.
ReplyDeleteThat has absolutely nothing to do with what you wrote, but that's what popped into my head. Poor Lucille. Perhaps the hydrangea will do better...?
aaaw I was totally expecting that story to end with you giving the healthy plant back to Jacob and thus your relationship was cemented forever. You know, sappy crap that I love ;)
ReplyDeleteAh, honey, I am a sucker for your random stories, too, so thank you :)
Oh baby sweetheart won't you please nurse it back to life? You know how I suck at plants, but my fikus I bought when a flower store on my way home from work was selling out crappy specimens for 10 sek. It had three leaves and I felt so bad for it. It was in the corner of my apartment for years, but somehow never died. And I did love it, even when that was the only place I could keep it (not much space, remember?). Now I have a big windowsill and it is doing it's best to fill it up. It just grows and grows and grows, and I swear, when I was in India it missed me, and when I came back it greeted me before I had even walked up the stairs. I know it sounds silly, but that's how it felt. So please, go get your withering hyndr..whatever... a new pot and some new soil (I will sponsor!) and some nice fertilizer. Your karma will never be the same. xx love you.
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