I wake unceremoniously from deep sleep, deepest sleep I rationalize my existence before even opening my eyes, everything is confused. He reads poetry and you love a good song in your ear, want to put that lilting accent on repeat and close your eyes, from my window I can see a building I once knew only from guide books, what a strange miracle this town is. You don't know how to tell him.
They say we can take our masks off now, say we can travel to Europe if we want to. I have forgotten what my lips look like, have forgotten about smiles from strangers, have forgotten how we are in our bodies and of our bodies because for a full year we have shielded ourselves from our bodies. Will you remember, looking back, how dark and unending the winter full of loneliness? Will you remember how, at last, you thougth you would not make it out alive?
Of course not.
The blessing of a life is that we are allowed to forget. That we can rediscover our smiles, and believe they weren't
hard won.
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