Rise

I walk past the house obsessively now, it's been so long since I wanted anything at all that it seems the longing is just as much a gift in itself. Some days I think it easier not to want anything at all, because then how could you be disappointed? I close my eyes and take three deep breaths, the woman in my headphones tells me to surrender, I wonder if she knows how tightly I hold my fears to my chest, one doesn't simply surrender what is wound around the heartstrings, does she not know the winter has been long and cold and devastating? 

I wrote a bit of poetry on a post-it one day, and it grew and grew in my hands until I swear I could see the whole Universe in verse, did you know it is a gift to have song in your heart? I falter so often and forget, it's only that fear tied too tight in my chest, it forgets sometimes
what it thinks it is
protecting.