Begin

I pour a bourbon as the last of daylight wanes. It feels like the middle of the night out here without streetlights, without traffic, I forget all the fires racing through my blood when the air is quiet. I unfold a card table, spread out my few knicknacks. Don't be precious, a sticker on my computer reads, reminds me to write anywhere, so I do. 

The clock keeps showing 11:11, you know, the Universe keeps nudging me with kindnesses and calls for my attention. I fear I am too numb, I fear it is already too late, I know you know you are losing me and I just haven't pulled the trigger yet, they tell me to stay another day and I think why not because what else is waiting for me downriver but more steps inside a vacuum? We are traumatized by a year that will not let up, do you really think we might live again, you no longer know what living means. 

Write anywhere. Do all the things. Everything ends, and you'll regret what you didn't. There's a light on in the house down the street, there's a light on in the deepest corner of your heart, just hold on for a little longer, and surely you'll have found your way. 

Surely, you'll have found it by making it.