La La Land

A day comes and goes in airports, in mechanical failures and hours of wait. A small child with my same color eyes says he’ll bring his toolbox and fix the engine, but to no avail. Return through the mountain pass to the sparkling valley, drag the sludge to the surface and look at it from different sides, watch your words because once they are out they do not fit back in: life is hard but don’t cheat yourself out of doing your best. I sat later under the bright night sky again. The meteor showers over, I had to wait a long time for a shooting star, but when at last it passed, how brightly I smiled in return. I’m afraid there’s something wrong with me, she wrote, and I’m not sure I’m possible to love. The new year drags us already through the mud, through the ice, I sat on an airplane watching California palm trees dancing and thought that’s enough of the dreaming. If the new year gives no reprieve, I will give none in return. America I’m putting my queer shoulder to the wheel. America I’m hitting the road right back.