A Lot of Oysters

(if you think that I could be forgiven, 
I wish you would)

He says it's raining on the west coast, in the land of perpetual sunshine, and how much he enjoys it.

I book a ticket to Mexico.

My to do lists are covered in checked boxes and still nothing looks different on the surface. She writes to say for one brief moment in the late afternoon she imagined a life without him and believed it would be okay. I was shocked, she writes, and then it was over. Life walks us through mazes to get where we're going, but the only way to get anywhere is to keep moving. I write a list of all my failures, flesh them out, categorize, color code. Because I asked the Universe for an opportunity to fail up, and all I did was fall, forgetting to do the work of climbing out of the hole where it shoved me, forgetting part two of the process.

But I'm taking the reins now, do you hear me? I'm draining the dirty blood out of my veins and setting these lungs on fire. I'm improving the fuck out of this tattered soul, just you try and stop me.