My words lie silent. I try to will them into existance, to jump the hurdles of my mind, to clear obstacles deposited by emotional winds because I know it is okay. But conscious knowledge alone does not make for unhindered flow.
I was recently made aware that these words were read by uninviteds, people who had sniffed it out and let curiosity guide them through my pages. Which, in all fairness, is something I must accept and which normally I would welcome. It is here, please help yourselves. But these people were a little too close for comfort, and I would have rather they didn't turn the pages of my inner world in such a manner.
No matter, it has all been cleared up now and the bridge has a courteous, but firm, Turn Back sign on it, which I trust them to honor. But my heart trembled a little at the reminder of what it is to put words into the world, and it closed up slightly. It doesn't even feel like I have things to say but censor myself. At this moment, I simply have nothing. (Well, that's not true. I have christmas lights and steam heat. It's not a bad way to spend one's silence.) I wait patiently for my word to return. I hope that you will, too.
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I understand.
ReplyDeleteAh sweetie. I understand you completely. At the same time, a valuable experience. One day your words might be published, with your name, and then they are there for anyone and everyone and you will have to stand for them. I think you can. xx
ReplyDeleteså länge det inte går ut över någon deadline så.
ReplyDeletethose words. it seems to me they are so obviously in you, surrounding you, & i'm certain you will know when it's time for them to come out & resurface again.
ReplyDeletejag tackar för orden & visheten & hoppas det inte är påträngande att jag läser, för det här var bland det mest intressanta jag träffats av på länge. ses till nyåret!
Åh tack fina. Det är definitivt inte du, inte någon av er här, som står för intrånget. Tvärtom. Blir bara himla smickrad! The words are coming back, I can't hold them in for long, even if I try.
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