Destruct

You are too tired, the voice at the back of my head says gently. You are running head first into the brick wall, didn't I tell you about it a mile ago? I wake disoriented, a fire rattling in my lungs, a to do list chasing me through every dream. Drag five versions of a manuscript to a quiet corner and watch the happy couple next to me touch each other in that way people do when the early morning is a bubble of their own making. Outside the window, autumn leaves cascade down the awning, some days New York is a film set all to itself. I walked home late last night and played peek-a-boo with the Empire State building, we had a good laugh even though I could hardly keep my eyes open.

If you think I am complaining, let me tell you I am not. Everything aches but my soul is delirious, I cannot keep my eyes open but I cannot stop smiling. Do you know I found the secret to the Universe and it makes everything else irrelevant?

I turn it over in the palm of my hand. It is weightless, and it is everything. Do you know I'm this close to the edge, and I have never been more sure of my footing?