Anew

I post an ad for my room. Dates flexible. With every reply, my body feels lighter, my soul closer to freedom. I wonder how long I could stay away, wonder at all the places I can go. I am not untethered, I am not lost, I am only dancing through the world knowing I built a safe harbor to come back to because it lives in me. Fall waits like a bogeyman in my closet but September is kind, encouraging, I check off items on my to do list and feel order arrange itself within me. A little girl appears at my side, in all the ruckus I forgot about her completely, I’m sorry I didn’t have enough heart to write your story I’ve just been trying to have enough heart to live. But I am here now, I am growing this heart beyond itself, I am growing every muscle I have to be soft and strong at the same time, my success is not an absence of tears but an abundance of love, fall waits like a monster but September is warm, yet, and only the beginning of everything. When all the ducks lined up in my chest, they made room for poetry, they made room for all the mad sparks and magic dust and when the Universe shines its light on your heart you had damn better be ready to open a window and see it.