Feel Just Fine

It must have been the wine, I went to bed so early, that turquoise twilight still reflected against the windows across the street. I lay with the windows wide open; it is not warm out, not summer, but sleep is much deeper in the cool, crisp air and at night I do not complain.

On a balcony on the top floor of the building on the other side, hipsters were enjoying their youth (or their cigarettes, it was hard to tell). The window behind them was covered in some light installation; it sent a pale blue light into the night and silhouetted their faces, perfectly framed in my view, as I lay in my bed and watched them move.

There is so much life unlived, so many minutes lost to apathy and fear. Time flees and we spend our days chasing superficial images of the successful people we thought we were supposed to be, forgetting that behind the makeup, Disney characters are only figments of our imagination. Summer is washed away in a cold rainfall and the dirty remains of our youth flood the storm drains. My to-do list despairs in a corner; I am forever playing catch up.

I am
forever
losing.