Bright Lights

The beginning of the end, but perhaps it started long ago. Perhaps the end draws near the second we begin, at all. We must ignore inevitable death to bear living.

I thought I would feel relieved, once the words were spoken. I thought I would feel free. Instead there is a great void in my gut, and a million magnolias can't make my heart of lead any lighter. The spring sun shines brightly, the busy streets carry on as usual. Orphan puppy sleeps in my laundry pile, and none of my playlists seem appropriate anymore.

Do you remember that party, years ago, that we just happened upon? I went home to your house early, you all stayed. I lay there listening to Matchbox Twenty loudly and knew, somehow, that life would be a long string of sorrowed days. I dreaded departure, but could never get myself to stay.

New York, darling, it's not you. It's me.