Thursday, September 23, 2010

Twinkle, Twinkle

No place is as peaceful as a house of sleeping children. In one bed, a five-year-old hugged her plush crocodile and sucked her fingers. In the crib, a baby lay with fluttering eyelids and pouting lips. I walked from room to room, turned out the lights, and pulled up a chair to the panorama windows.

On the other side of the glass, New York glittered. Midtown Manhattan skyscrapers spread out like rhinestone trinkets. In between buildings, I saw the cacophony of Times Square lightbulbs change color, and a full moon painted the darkness in a velvety gray. I walked out on the terrace, and the air was warm, smells of end-of-summer and traffic noise drifting through the air.

And just like that, like so many times before, New York blew me away.

I leave myself completely open. I consider the risk of having no defense but I still let myself get swept away everytime. Sometimes I dare to contemplate if this whole thing is just madness, but then moments like these arrive, that are so simple but so overwhelming, and I fall helplessly in love all over again. I make it work because I see no other option.
journal excerpt, Sep 23, 2010

How simple these moments, these reminders. They may catch me off-guard, but they are never unwelcome. Amidst all the perils, the challenges, the days spent staring at the wall and shaking my head, a single second like this wipes every dark cloud from my heart. A single second like this, and there is no other life I would rather live.

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