A day slips through your fingers, they feel useless at the end of your arms, you had so much to prove and instead proved nothing. The notion makes you shrink inside yourself, like plastic wrap under heat, you wrinkle and contort and end up unrecognizable to yourself. My head hurts. Outside the window, it rains all day, the heat is off and you feel a chill for the first time all winter. There's a gratitude in it if you will.
(and you have to, you have to. What else can you do with useless days but fill them with gratitude, but allow yourself grace. It is only February, it is only this rain, tomorrow there will be sunshine anew and you can make up for what you broke here. The sun sets so much later each day now, have you noticed?
Tomorrow there will be sunshine. Come back to me then.)
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