If you’re looking for an apartment in Stockholm, it’s yours, he says, like it doesn’t ignite your illness four decades in the making. Like you haven’t crossed oceans for attractive real estate before and you know exactly how many steps it is from his front door to a downtown dip in summer waters you could linger in through fall.
Like you weren’t currently itching for a change and your recent hits aren’t pummeling like they used to. Up the dosage.
You wander through your final hours in Colorado, wondering at how fast July always insists on running, it doesn’t matter where you are. August approaching like a specter, forever both a summer month and a whisper of fall. You think your life isn't turning out the way you'd thought, but from another angle you realize it's exactly what you knew, all along.
You can beat yourself against this wall all you like,
you still end up with yourself.
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