Hallows

The illness returns, drapes your lungs in iron weights, drags your body across the room. You write your excuses into the ether and saunter slowly towards cauldrons if soup. Children in costume yell at you outside the window, it’s all laughs beyond the disease. 

I took a long slow walk along the river this morning in my daze, warm October sun drifting over Brooklyn, and a feeling so long gone I nearly didn’t recognize it sat itself at the bottom of my spine. Happiness keeps showing up, lately, keeps trying to make me believe it will stick around, I’m almost starting to listen. In the midst of all this darkness, in all this ache and falling leaf, I’m starting to think 

You are happy.