Dies Irae

The remains of alcohol linger in your system, they whisper vile accusations and heckle you before you even open your eyes. A sweet dream with that kind voice disappears in an instant under their thumb; they laugh at your hopeful eyes. Another raincloud rolls in, again you unpack the warm coats from their winter storage, what's the use? Brave the gloom to look his children in the eye and forget yourself for a while, it never fails, they laugh their way straight into your sunniest spots and sit there without shame, until you tumble back down your rabbit hole and let your vision go blurry.

this is me, a voice inside you repeats, and you know she is right. The mechanical claws in your gut keep churning, they play a requiem at your throat and make it harder, if not to breathe, then to want to. I didn't mean to die, I just wanted to see what the blood would look like no longer restrained by this skin. I only wanted to know what it was like to be free.

Perhaps we are not meant to all walk the same path. Some may create life, others art. As long as you leave something behind when you go, you may be excused.