Sate

There was the most delicious scent on the wind today. It had that inexplicable air of street, of garbage and cab tires and food truck and warm skin. We went to Central Park and took our jackets off by Bethesda fountain. Innumerable couples were taking their engagement pictures. Valentine's Day victims? One bride stood shivering in her sleeveless dress. We stared into the sun.

On my doorstep lay several packages, wrapped in brown cardboard: book deliveries. I unwrap them reverently and do not realize till later what joy they have put in my heart already. New books, unread treasures like the threshold of adventure just waiting to be unlocked and you don't know what's on the other side. I sit on a kitchen chair, reading, and forget to move. See twists and turns in my own story, as it twists and turns and gains momentum in my mind, running alongside these untouched pages, I smile.

It occurred to me today that I am happy. And not just the happy that puts a smile on your face. I simply thought of various lacks I should be experiencing and realized they are not bothering me. That I toiled and struggled to set my life up in a certain way, and now that it has gone through, I have exactly what I wanted. The strangeness of the moment was not lost on me. I smiled out loud in the Morton Street kitchen, continued to read. Life returns, in pieces.